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Welcome to the Creative Corner!
This week we are interviewing J.S.
The Lamb’s Remark to the Shepherd and His Love
By J.S.
Master, Mistress, I see your fight.
Now stop and see things through my sight.
Observe the hart and watch the dove.
Where do they obtain their love?
The entire flock knows the source.
Now put an end to your remorse!
Even when fed we go to fold,
Yet our love never becomes cold.
The hart and hind the hills free roam.
There is no place that they call home.
A hunt could take one any day,
But they still find love anyway.
The mother dove sits on her nest.
She knows the father knows what’s best.
If he did not return with food,
Still then love in her breast would brood.
Though gowns, flowers, and straw may rot,
True love by these is never brought.
If all these, God’s animals, move,
Where do they obtain their love?
Their love springs from their Lord on high;
It comes down to them as from the sky.
If He delights your minds to move,
Then live as one and be one love.
Interview with the author
Name: J.S.
Age: 17
Grade: 12
Location: ---
Years on NSA: Three
Writer’s Views On The Poem:
After reading Christopher Marlowe and Sir Walter Raleigh’s poems, I felt as if something was left out. They both expressed two different views, but I felt as if they were both wrong. The truth needed to be expressed, so I decided to write a response poem. First, I had to figure out who would be the speaker in my poem. In Christopher Marlowe’s poem, the speaker was the shepherd. In Sir Walter Raleigh’s reply poem, the Nymph, the beloved of the shepherd, was the speaker. It felt as if all the positions were taken. Then I remembered that there was one more party present: the sheep. I thought it would be perfect to write from the perspective of a lamb.
Three Quick Questions…
- What do you think could be improved about this poem?
Well, every honest writer knows there’s always room for improvement. If I really wanted to be nitpicky, I would check the words I used in the poem to see if they were in the vocabulary of the English in Marlowe and Raleigh’s time. At the present, I’m not sure that I see anything else in there, but I’m open to anyone else who wants to comment on it. :)
- Any ideas or encouragement for other budding writers on NSA?
I think that the best thing anyone who’s just starting to write (or who is starting up after not writing for a long time) can do is just keep at it. This is especially important in poetry. It may seem a little dull at first, but the more you write the better you get. Also, accept criticism; it can really help you build your skill. In fact, you should seek criticism as much as possible. However, you don’t have to take everything you’re given, and you shouldn’t always either. You have to carefully balance your personal style and what works well for you, with the criticism of others. If you try to make your work too much like the “model poem” then it won’t have any personality.
- If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Isn’t this always a tough question? There are so many neat places to go, but if I really had a choice of anywhere, I would probably visit Scotland again. On my first visit, I didn’t have much time to explore, and I only got to see Edinburgh. Other places I might like to visit would be Ireland, Finland, umm…there’re so many places. :P
Commentary
Caroline’s Critique:
Strengths: After reading “The Passionate Shepherd to His Love” and “The Nymph’s Reply to the Shepherd”, this poem sounds like a perfect conclusion. Following along in the same style as the first two poems in its rhythm, rhyming scheme, the poem also offers a truthful message – namely that yes, all the things spoken of in the original poems are fleeting, and, as all of creation can see, only God’s love can truly satisfy – in a clear and simple way.
Weaknesses: The rhythm seems somewhat forced in a few places, as in the second half of the second stanza. The line ‘If all these, God’s animals, move’ in the fifth stanza likewise seems choppy, breaking the flow of the rest of the poem.
Conclusion
Offering some finality and perspective to the disappointment left lingering after “The Nymph’s Reply to the Shepherd,” this poem is very creative and, overall, well-executed. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Thanks for reading! Have any comments, questions, ideas, or submissions for this column? Send your work and ideas to
Caroline Black. God bless your week!