M. Alex Montgomery, Glimpses of Grace, Navigator Issue 4

Why are we here? Am I important? Am I worth anything? These are questions that run through our minds at some point in our lives. Life is precious, a gift given to us from God. But when we focus on us, and think that we are nothing, we squander that gift. We say that the life God gave us is nothing; it is a curse to live. It is often in these times that God’s love shines forth as it did in the life of Hannah C..

            In January Hannah found herself in the mental state of depression. Thoughts bounced around inside, tearing her down and throwing down her worth: “I am trash. I am useless. God has abandoned me and does not love or care for me anymore. No one cares about me. No one loves me.”

            Hannah lived a normal life: she went to school and had friends and family time. After school, she would cry or lean on three of her dearest friends. These friends would pray for her, comfort her, and counsel her in her time of despair. But another harsh fact preyed upon this source of comfort: her friends were moving.

            After four months of being in this depression, Hannah began to plan her suicide. Her mind was almost over that thin line between sanity and insanity. She was becoming lost into a darkness that was overcoming her. The only people who brightened her spirits were moving in June.

It was in this dark moment when hope appeared to flee from all sight that God spoke to her: “Hold on, I love you, don’t do this, I love you. I love you, Hannah. Don’t do this, I love you.” These thoughts lifted the veil that covered her sense and reason, and light began to shine in Hannah’s life.

            The feelings that coursed through her were of happiness and yet also terror. She was scared of how close she had come to throwing away that gift of life, scared of what she had become. She was happy that God had helped her and fired the starting pistol to a speedy recovery. By early June, Hannah was completely out of depression and was her normal self.

            Many of you have heard the story titled “Footprints.” This story is a simple reminder about the depth and intensity of God’s love. When you find yourself sucked down into the vortex of depression, allow God to carry you. Joshua 1:5 says “as I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” God will never leave you. Even though things may seem different or difficult, cling to those words: Never will he leave you.