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3 Random Facts: 1) Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. 2) If you keep a gold fish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white. 3) A duck’s quack doesn’t echo. No one knows why. |
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Watching Waterfalls in the Dead of Night
Look up sometime at the skyscrapers when the sun is shining right behind them and you’ll have a Babel effect—quite cool, actually, but sad at the same time. If you brought your dictionaries along, turn to the “r”s and find the word “random.” Likely the definition will reflect a “hello, sir, you’ve been randomly selected to fill out this phone survey” situation. As members of the X+1 generation, also belonging to the gang of internet junkies and the elite group of NSA, “random” encompasses much wider horizons, including the narrow definition of “occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern.” According to Zach Hamilton, waffles are good in the middle of the night under a bed with the one you love the most.
To start with definitions, random as a noun means a phrase or occurrence, usually intentionally stupid, that is completely irrelevant to any part of the conversation or situation. Well, that’s a freaky piece of cheese. Thank you, Colt O’Brien, that will do for now. Randomness today is considered a type of humor. This is no satire, exaggeration, dead-pan serious faces uttering hilarious statements, or witty remarks. Often disjointed, always out of context, randomness is an uncontrolled outburst of whatever happens to enter the speaker’s mind. The unexpectedness of the utterance creates the produced mirth.
Another definition of random, in the context of phrases such as “He is random,” is the actual act of gushing forth in irrelevant spontaneity. Here randomness users can be branched into two categories: The first is the “chatterbox.” His frequent utterances are often hyper in nature, seeking to be everywhere and a part of everything at once. The second can be dubbed the “prophet.” Seldom does he speak, but eloquent indeed are his words when given. Bob, said Daniel Yee, and everyone listened. Many find the prophet more difficult as conversations including him will either be illogical or peppered with phrases of unrelated snippets.
The third definition of random occurs when the randomness user himself confesses “I’m being random” or “I’m in a really random mood.” Trees are green. Someone saying this means that he feels odd, different from his usual personality, or senses a “weird” mood overtaking him. This temporary feeling can cover a wide variety of behaviors and nature of sentences. Practically it shows itself in the thoughts of odd, insignificant memories, or inexplicable urges to initiate unconventional activities.
To someone not familiar with the intricacies of this delicate and yet all-encompassing sport, a random person may appear a bit mental. Their behavior might seem shallow and superficial. In essence, isn’t that what randomness is? Disjointed concepts shooting out and into our minds as quickly as they are thought up and leaving little to no trace? What is it about society, especially Generation Y, that so enjoys the diversion of random behavior and humor? Has the pace of life sped up to such a degree that even humor must be chopped up into pieces as small and manageable as one of the many pixels rushing in and out of our minds every day?
Before worrying and resolving to sever all ties of familiarity with randomness, realize that the art of randomness is arguably unattainable. In order to act or speak truly randomly, one must shut his brain off; otherwise inevitable trains of thought, not pogo sticks of thought, will occur. Indeed, often the seemingly random ideas are formed from thought trains, albeit fast trains. Put on the spot to reproduce something random, many people begin casting their eyes about the room, reproducing a “random” thought either from something in the room or from a train of thought instigated by that object. Incidentally, those planning on dueling with Amy Rosenberger would do well to remember this: Rules for a gunfight: bring a gun, preferably two guns. Bring all your friends who have guns.
Randomness is not wrong in itself, nor do the individuals who radiate randomness act wrongly. Extremities in most behaviors, however, can be wrong, or, in other cases like randomness, exceedingly inappropriate. Orange squares are warm is the excellent advice from Derrick Zuk this morning, ladies and gentlemen; if you happen to be living in Alberta, Saskatchewan, or Manitoba, it would be a good idea to check this out, especially considering the recent cold snap. Randomness, a fickle wind, has effects ranging from light-hearted humor to a serious distraction from the conversation. Pickles and peanut butter, wisely added Hannah Maust. Who wants to distract an unbeliever from hearing the gospel by injecting a random comment into the discussion? I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but what you must realize is that what you heard is not what I meant.